We were born before television, before penicillin, polio vaccine, frozen food, photocopiers, contact lenses, videos, frisbees and the Pill. We lived before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball point pens; before dishwashers, tumble dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip dry clothes and before man walked on the moon.

We got married first and then lived together - how quaint can you be? We thought “Fast Food” was something you ate at Lent. A “Big Mac” was an oversized overcoat and crumpet was what we had for tea. We existed before house husbands, computer dating, dual careers, when meaning relationship meant getting along with your cousins and sheltered accommodation was where you waited for the bus.

We were born before day care centres, group houses and disposable nappies. We had never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electronic typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yoghurt and men wearing earings. For us time sharing meant togetherness, a chip was a piece of wood or a fried potato. Hardware meant nuts and bolts and software was not even a word.

Before 1945 “Made in Japan” meant junk. The term “making out” referred to how you did in your exams. A stud was something that fastened a collar to a shirt, and “going all the way” meant staying on a double decker bus until it reached the Depot.

Pizzas, MacDonald’s and instant coffee were unheard of. In our day cigarette smoking was fashionable, grass was mown, coke was kept in the coal house, a joint was a piece of meat you had on Sundays, and pot was something you cooked in. Rock music was a grandmother’s lullaby. El dorado was an ice cream and a gay person was the life and soul of the party.

There were four grades of toilet paper, the Argus, the Western Mail, the Echo and the News of the World. A money box was the gas meter. People had the toilet outside and the meals inside the home. Transportable lightweight baths could be used in any room in the house. The porn shop was the pawn shop, a handkerchief was a cotton square (or coat sleeve!). Footwear was constructed of iron, leather and wood. A disc jockey was a national hunt jockey with a back injury. The recycling unit was the Rag and Bone man. An alarm was known as a knock-up. The NHS was known as the Doctor’s bill of sixpence a week. Debt and illegitimacy were secrets. MacDonald only had a farm. Central heating was an oven plate or a firebrick wrapped in a blanket. A duvet was an eiderdown (or your dad’s overcoat) on the bed. A kitchen unit was known as a slopstone. The Top Ten used to be the Ten Commandments.

We, who were born before 1945, must be a hardy bunch when you think of how the world has changed and the adjustments we have had to make. No wonder we are confused and there is a generation gap!!

PS - Future generations, when embarking on the holiday space-cruises, will no doubt express surprise at how primitive were Concorde, jumbo jets etc, etc, of the 1990’s!